How should we explain ART to our kids?

So, you’ve been through the infertility rollercoaster and it finally worked. How on earth do you explain a child that they were born from IUI, IVF, donor sperm, donor eggs, surrogacy, or some other form of ART (assisted reproductive technology)? “What kids want to know is that they’re in the family they were meant to be in — that they belong to their mom and dad,” says one experienced counsellor. This post provides some ideas, tips and resources to help think through when, why and how to help your child understand this. Also, some thoughts on the topic for those still ttc … […]

What is DHEA?

DHEA (Dehydroepiandrosterone) is a naturally occurring hormone in our bodies which depletes as we get older. Here’s some info quoted from a UK site (<– click the link for more detailed info):

Description: DHEA, also known as “the mother hormone”, is produced by the adrenal glands and is the most dominant hormone in the body. […]

When and how should I seek a second opinion?

Suppose you had a friend who was grappling with a cancer diagnosis and kept wondering whether his/her specialist had really considered all the possible treatment angles that might work. Suppose he or she had been receiving some treatment but there hadn’t really been any sign of progress. What would you advise? Probably a second opinion, right? For some unknown reason, fertility patients seem to struggle with this notion that it’s somehow disloyal to seek a second opinion. Yes, it is awkward. But actually, it’s just good common sense if there’s any little voice inside your head saying “maybe there’s a better way …” If you think you might want to get a second opinion on your case, here’s what to do … […]

We’ve had multiple losses – what should we be asking about?

“We seem to have no trouble getting pregnant, but we’ve had several first trimester losses.” Or, “We put back good-looking embryos every time, but they just don’t stick.” If this sounds like you, here are a few ideas you might want to discuss with your doctor.

Miscarriages can be caused by any one or more […]

Choosing a good acupuncturist

There’s some good evidence that acupuncture can enhance your odds whether you are ttc naturally or using ART (IUI, IVF). But how on earth do you choose a GOOD acupuncturist? Here are a few tips to help you, including: * How to tell if your acupuncturist is NOT a good choice * The scoop on NZ and other acupuncture qualifications and credentials * A list of recommended acupuncturists from around the country * Questions to ask a prospective acupuncturist before agreeing to work with them […]


Ever wondered what on earth the infertility veterans are on about? Well, here’s a list of the main terms used on NZ and overseas boards (and here on this site) … @@ or (.)(.) – boobs AF – Aunt Flow (period) AH – Assisted Hatching AMH – anti mullarian hormone amnio – amniocentesis ART – Assisted Reproductive Technologies … […]

Infertility Humour – IVF Barbie

When Mattel were looking to design their new Barbie, IVF Barbie, they soon realized that there was not one universal Barbie that would accurately portray the spirit of IVF Barbie. So they decided they would come out with a few variations thereof. Meet: Newbie Barbie (a.k.a. Baby Dust Barbie), her big sister Pregnant Newbie Barbie, their cousin Joiner Barbie, Veteran Barbie (the Anti-Barbie), Pregnant Veteran Barbie, Celebrity IVF Barbie (featuring two versions: Denial Celeb Barbie and Out of the Closet IVF Barbie), IVF Ken (DH), RE Ken (the fertility specialist) and Nurse (Ratchet) Barbie. Collect the full set of IVF Barbies, put them in the Barbie house together and see the sparks fly! […]

What low-tech things can we do to increase our odds?

Maybe IUI and IVF aren’t an option for you and you’d like to try and increase your odds generally while ttc naturally. Or maybe you’re gearing up for – or in the middle of – IUI or IVF treatment. Or on one of those interminable waiting lists! Is there anything you can do NOW that can help improve your odds? Yes! There are a number of things you can do to get your bodies readier and more likely to succeed than they currently are for conception and pregnancy. Many of these take several months or more before you see the full benefits, so remember, it’s never too early to start AND it’s never too late to start because every little bit helps! If you’re on a waiting list for IVF (or waiting to get on one!!), this is a fruitful way to make the most use of your time. … […]

IVF – the hurdles

So you’ve read the IVF manual and are all ready to start a cycle. What are some of the “wish I’d known that” snippets that veteran IVFers can share with you to help fill the knowledge gaps about what to expect? Well, one that comes up a lot is having a clear understanding of the not-so-straightforward hurdles involved in an IVF cycle. Here’s a list of some of the main hurdles you need to clear as you go through the process … […]

How to be good friends with an infertile

This one is especially for family and friends wanting to be helpful and not another source of stress for a woman or couple dealing with infertility. Infertiles come in different flavors. 1. Your eternal optimist / newbie / completely uninvolved infertile … 2. Your longer term / highly involved infertile … 3. Then you get the older timers, who’ve been doing this so long it just becomes part of who they are. … […]