Conflicting expert opinions – how do I know who’s right?

So, you finally plucked up the courage to go for a second opinion, and guess what – now you have two or more well-qualified and plausible experts with compelling arguments telling you to do the exact opposite. Who should you trust? Who’s more credible? And, can’t we just rely on the scientific literature to give us the answers? […]

How do we know when to move on?

“Moving on” can mean a lot of different things: ditching IVF and going natural, moving to donor eggs, donor sperm, donor embryos, adoption, fostering, child-free living, accepting a smaller family than you hoped for … How do we know when it’s time to move on to the next option? And, when should we (and when should we NOT) be making those choices? In this post, I share a bit of my own story from the very lowest points of my ttc journey, how I weighed up the different scenarios of whether the journey would end in failure or end in success, what would have made me move onto another option, how I resisted making big decisions in my darkest hours, etc. […]

When and how should I seek a second opinion?

Suppose you had a friend who was grappling with a cancer diagnosis and kept wondering whether his/her specialist had really considered all the possible treatment angles that might work. Suppose he or she had been receiving some treatment but there hadn’t really been any sign of progress. What would you advise? Probably a second opinion, right? For some unknown reason, fertility patients seem to struggle with this notion that it’s somehow disloyal to seek a second opinion. Yes, it is awkward. But actually, it’s just good common sense if there’s any little voice inside your head saying “maybe there’s a better way …” If you think you might want to get a second opinion on your case, here’s what to do … […]

2-day, 3-day or blast transfer?

When you do IVF, it is possible to transfer your embryos * on Day 2 after egg collection (usually 4-cell embryos), * on Day 3 after egg collection (usually 8-cell embryos) or * on Day 5 (after the embryos have reached blastocyst stage). Also, leftover embryos can be frozen on any of these days too. What are your options, what should you consider when deciding, and how/when should you talk to your doctor, nurse, embryologist about all this? […]

Questions to ask a prospective specialist

Before committing to working with a particular specialist, it’s a good idea to ask them a few questions to get a feel for their approach to treating patients like you.

All too often I have talked with women/couples who have gone through their first consult with a specialist and simply assumed that whatever treatment plan […]